The Nacho Vs RPF war has been a shit storm. We have suffered boredom from long ass battles, a slew of Nachos called ‘Nachos are Awesome’ and ‘Go Nachos’ and many other ‘Nachos’ have joined our chat. Yet, this war also leads to one very dark thing, the consumption of flesh from your own kind, or in simple terms, cannibalism.
After spending hours on RPF chat, and the loss of many brain cells and several cases of cancer and tumors, I have come to uncover this dark secret. This war has taken its toll; this RPF has lost all of their servers, their only remaining places to go are Alpine, Arctic and Alaska. Prostitution, slave labor and drug smuggling has now plagued the RPF troops. They are low on supplies and food. Well, everyone except Elmikey who takes 70% of everyone’s possessions. The RPF are low on food, and those handy-j’s and coke carries don’t provide enough income for food. Several RPF troops have resorted to eating the dead troopers from the battles.
Now, many people may be wary of this bold ‘conspiracy’ but it is more than that. I have seen several RPF saying “GIVE ME A CUP OF RPF” and “I WANT A RPF PIZZA” on Alpine and Arctic. I decided to go more in depth, and walked up the RPF camp outside Alaska. I was able to get a forged ID saying my name was “RPF Trooper 53” The guards just kind of stared at me, mumbling “Nacho” and “spy” but they let me pass. I saw several RPF troopers walking around like zombies, looking tired and had white eyes. I was freaked out and started jogging. That is when I walked into Elmikeys tent. He had handmade trophy’s saying “Rpf is Number One” and I even recognized the CPAC tournament trophy, yet ‘Ice Warriors’ was crossed out and written on it was ‘RPF’
I walked up to him and said “I have heard rumors that RPF are cannibals” He smiled at me and I added “During a raid, I saw some troops say, “I want a cup of RPF” He responded with “Yes, we did! A cup of RPF is much better than a cup of coffee” I asked him “How do you make a cup of RPF? Do you take some RPF troops and jam them into a blender, puree them and drink them?” He started chuckling and kept saying “Yes! Yes!” Like some hussy in a cheap porno. I bolted out of their and and got into a Pepto Bismol truck and rode back to Fjord. It was truly a horrifying experience.
What do you think of this? RPF being cannibals? Is it true that RPF eat their own people? Who knows, but, I have even more incriminating evidence, Elmikey has sent me several letters, and this is the most horrifying.